so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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