in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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