Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
