All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the condom got lost in my hair
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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