by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
