So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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