I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
