you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dignity is for republicans.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
