i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
