We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
