So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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