Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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