Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just pynch a tree in the face
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
