Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
