So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
birth control should be required to get into college
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That accounts for only three of the penises
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
