Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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