We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
