dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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