Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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