He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
