he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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