i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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