I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
smell my finger.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
