The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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