Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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