were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
