we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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