we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
