it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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