is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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