i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
