Got a toothbrush?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
