She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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