Operation Purity has been aborted
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
