You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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