I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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