somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
