Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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