just come out here and I will go home with you...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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