The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
