I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
