mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My ass is underappreciated
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
