Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
