Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
