I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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