Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Drake has all the answers
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
