I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
the raccoons are back...
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