I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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