Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
