You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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