Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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