U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
