I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
