If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
