Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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