i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
