I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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