We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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