You can't motorboat a personality
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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